The Ugly Duckling

This is one of the feature articles I passed as requirement for my Com31 subject. :)

Here’s the thing: I undeniably despised myself for being ugly.


It had been years ago but still I cannot try to shun away from the fact that at some point in my life I was this fat, frizzy-haired, glaring red pimple-filled fourteen-year-old.

The thought of it does not mortify me, however, because who I was before marks my realization that hideous ducklings could really turn into beautiful swans. Oh yes, your mother, your grandmother, your aunt or whoever gave you the idea about the Ugly Duckling wasn’t lying. Because tell you what, it did happen to me.

Growing up was hard for me. Although it may seem like I had everything—I was well provided for, I excelled in class and I was loved by my family—I knew that there was just something wrong. I thought something was missing.

It was during my junior prom when I first realized my problem. That was the night when I wore a designer dress for the first time. The stylist put on some make-up the same shade as my dress. He put my mane into a bun, applied hairspray, and then I was all set.

I thought I was in for a fairy tale-like night—one that involved myself being swept away by a prince charming and all the girls sighing in admiration to how stunning I looked—but I was wrong. So, so wrong.

As it turned out, the dress hugged me in all the wrong places, my foundation was just too white for my complexion, and the hairstylist put too much spray that I remember it took me days to completely wash all the chemicals off. It was utterly obvious to the look of all the guys that night that I was nothing compared to my superstar-looking friends. I went home early and cried like there was no tomorrow.

Since that night, I thought: 1.) I can never be at par to all my celebrity friends 2.) I can never be loved by a boy and 3.) I can never have my own Fairy Tale. Because no matter how much I excelled in school, or no matter how much my parents earned from their jobs, if I had I had no pretty face to go with all of it, I was still a nobody.

For years, most of my problems basically included my appearance. I would wear huge shirts and baggy jeans so that all my unwanted body parts could be concealed. My hair was always in a pony tail because it was always frizzy—no, probably bushy. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror.

But in time, my appearance was changing. My skin started to clear, my hair started to go under my ruling and I started to lose weight. I also found my long-lost fashion sense. Everybody was beginning to notice the changes in me.
One day I looked at myself in the mirror—and I mean really looked at myself—for the first time in many years. I did not recognize the girl looking back at me. She was nothing like the one I hated and hurt many times. At that moment, tears began to flow freely in my face.

My mom was watching me that moment. I turned to look at her and asked the question I’ve been afraid to ask for fear that I would get the answer I never wanted to hear.
“Am I beautiful?” She smiled and gave me the answer that I never expected to come from anyone’s mouth. “Yes you are, honey…you are beautiful.”

And then it hit me. I finally realized what was missing in my life. It wasn’t the lack of a pretty face—it was the lack of my self-esteem.

I no longer compare myself with others. And because of that, boys started to notice me. But that never would have been possible if it wasn’t for the Fairy Tale that I have experienced for myself—the Ugly Duckling’s story—which by the way is a fairy tale that is much better than Cinderella’s or Snow White’s or any other princess’s.

The way I treated myself before was uglier than red zits and thighs that couldn’t fit in any decent jeans. I transformed into a swan not because I lost a few pounds and my hair has turned straight. I became a swan because I started to believe with all my heart that I am beautiful.

And don’t you just think that’s all that really matters?




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