The Stupid-est thing I have ever done in my eighteen years of existence

Writing this article.
:)


Through the eyes of a hopeless romantic
By Jeahan Virda B. De Barras

You ask me if I have a problem. Well, I do have a problem. And to tell you honestly, I’m getting a little worried about it.

You see, I think I have been missing out on some things. Things like hugs and roses and chocolates and sweet letters. And maybe even gushing and blushing and serenades. Well generally I think I have been missing out on, umm, the most beautiful thing this life has to offer—what I have always wanted—the very thing that keeps people moving and makes life so much worthwhile. Yes, I have been missing out on love.

All my life I’ve been hearing stories about love and every time I do, I can’t help but ask, with a sorry look on my face, where is mine. Most of my friends had one. Cinderella had one. Korina Sanchez had one. Even the old lady at one of the beauty parlors downtown had one. But what about me?

If Fairy Godmother appears right now, I won’t wish for another pair of Havaianas. Instead I would ask her to make having someone to love be as easy and as instant as an instant cup of noodles. An instant cup of noodles comes in a small package, and all you need to do is just add hot water, then voila, you have food! So at that one moment when you were so hungry you couldn’t turn to the next page the thick book you’ve been reading for seven hours already, that instant cup of noodles was able to satisfy your empty, desperate stomach. I really think life will be so much easier if the love of your life could just be found inside a little hot water-enduring cup.

But because Fairy Godmother is taking her time to appear, up to this day I still have never had anything to satisfy my stomach with— oh wait, what I meant was, I have never had anything to satisfy my heart with. Never, not anything since Land Before Time.

I was never able to smile with flying hearts on my background. And I tell you, it's not easy. I am the person you see walking next to a couple who are holding hands together. I am the person who goes inside a flower shop, looks at the beautiful roses and wonders just when I'd be able to get one. I am the person you happen to pass through the benches--the person who just sits, arms crossed, and stares at the laughing boy and girl at the bench just across. I am the person who secretly cries inside the shower room, wondering if there's really somebody saved especially to lift up the loneliness and emptiness I feel inside.

You know the feeling when you come from an exhausting organization meeting and it’s already 11pm and you have to walk to your dorm alone and when you get there you still have to wait for your dorm manager to open the door for you and while waiting you hear all these weird, creepy sounds. Don’t you just suddenly wish right then and there that you were with someone strong and brave? What about those times when you are alone—reading a heartbreakingly sad book—at a coffee shop filled with laughing couples and then because of an attempt to uplift your loneliness, you suddenly begin imagining that you are also laughing with someone—The Someone. Don’t you just wish that The Someone really did exist to keep you from being insane? Since you are so curious, yes, those are just some of the random feelings I get every single day.

It’s funny, by the way, that of all people it has to be me who is put in this situation. I mean, I love love. Love is the keyword I type on Google on a regular basis. Love is why I cry over weddings and marriage proposals. Love is why I listen to Norah Jones and John Lennon. Love is the word that first catches my attention on the front cover of a novel. Love is why I get goose bumps when I hear a guy serenading the girl he loves. Love is why I keep doodling hearts on my notebook instead of listening to my boring teachers. Love is the top category out of all the fan pages I have become a fan of in Facebook. Love is why I curl myself up on my bed until 3am reading Nicholas Sparks books and watching Meg Ryan movies instead of studying for my Scriptwriting report. Love is why I smile, I laugh, I cry. Love is, I think, what really defines me.

But whyohwhy, love, can’t you just love me back? WHY?

Well I am a bit overreacting but maybe you’d understand that while others have been moping around over failed after failed relationships, I’ve also been moping around. Over relationships that never did and never will (oh gosh, I hope not) exist. At least some of you have experienced blushing and sobrang cheesy-ing before the heartaches happened.

But I don’t consider my situation unfortunate. I’m not saying that you all turn your attention away from the victims of Haiti for me. Goodness, please don’t pity me. I love being free. Even though I’ve had no experience whatsoever when it comes to relationships, at least, and I quote from my friend, “staying single means I’m increasing my market value.”

And I definitely have no plans of wasting my first real relationship over just anyone. I don’t plan on making someone my First Love just because I’m tired of being alone. I am saving myself up for one person alone. As to who that person is, I really don’t know yet.

So even though I’m kind of getting worried about this problem, don’t worry because I’ll get by. I’ll get by because I am a hundred and one percent sure that when the right time comes, the reason why I am writing this article in the first place will come.



(This is the unedited version with the more relevant title...haha)




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Love Earth.

1. Hold that straw! Plastic straws are among the most abundant debris found on beaches. Marine animals nibble on these, thinking they’re food. Remember: you are fully capable of drinking without the help of a plastic appendage.
(During the International Coastal Clean-Up and UP Clean-Up, we found so many of these. KADIRE.)

2. Donate those tarps! Tarpaulins are made of non-biodegradable and non-recyclable stuff. Instead of throwing them away, donate them to Earth Day Network, an environmental NGO that turns them into schoolbags for less fortunate children around the Philippines. Contact Ms. Binggirl Clemente at earthday_village@yahoo.com for more details.
(Tita Binggirl is AWESOME. She inspires me everyday.)

3. Chuck those (disposable) chopsticks: when dining at any Asian restaurant, bring your own reusable chopsticks. Though wooden chopsticks are biodegradable, they take a long time to decay and just add to the volume of solid waste in dumpsites. The annual production of chopsticks uses up to 90, 000 tons of wood, which comes from trees—climax of the plant kingdom and lungs of the earth.
(I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT MY FRIENDS AND I BRING CHOPSTICKS EVERY TIME WE EAT IN OMAKASE. WHICH IS AT LEAST TWICE A MONTH. Or else Ms. Fernandez goes into a bitch fit with matching hampas sa lamesa.)

4. Think big, buy big. We Filipinos have a tingi-tingi culture where everything must come small. Imagine the amount of waste we’d reduce if we bought in bulk! Instead of buying in sachets, reach for the big bottle. When traveling, just put the contents in smaller, refillable bottles that you can buy in any department store.

5. BamBOO YEAH: instead of planting a tree, plant bamboo—it’s a kind of grass, which means it grows faster. Other bamboo bonuses: it doesn’t need fertilizer, generates 35% more oxygen than a tree, and stores more CO2.
(My dad and I planted bamboos to celebrate his 55th birthday.)

6. When buying ice cream, choose cones over cups. Note: cones are edible, cups are disposable.
(Besides, hindi ba mas fun kumain from a cone?! Mas feel mo ang pagiging bata debah?)

7. Be a botante and not a bobotante: in the upcoming 2010 elections, read up on your candidates. See if there’s any green platform behind the yellow, the orange, and the hand symbols.
(Uuuuy ALAM NA.)

8. Spread the word: one person can make difference if she reduces her waste. But if she tells others, then those others tell even more others, then we can begin to effect change. It may be important to practice what you preach, but it’s equally important to preach what you practice.

9. Paper or plastic? One ton of paper bags is equivalent to 17 trees and generates five times as much solid waste as plastic. One ton of plastic bags consumes 11 barrels of crude oil and takes 1000 years to decompose. The answer: neither - bring your own!
(Last time my mom and I went to the grocery, we were busy talking so mamang bagger put them in plastic bags. Then we freaked out and said we had an ecobag with us. So the mamang bagger put the plastic bags in the ecobag. FAIL. Tinanggal namin malamang!)

10. You can carry an eco-bag or just put your purchase in your own bag. While you’re at it, tell the cashier that you don’t need a plastic bag ‘cause you want to save the world. Trust us, it’ll make her smile.
(And it always does. I do this all the time.)

11. Bring your own water bottle! 2.7 million tons of plastic are used for bottled water annually, about 90% of which end up in landfills. An average mineral water bottle costs about P20. If you stop buying one or two bottles a day, you can save up to P1120 a month. While you're at it, bring your own tumbler too! When you’re going to meet your friends for coffee, hand the barista your own tumbler or ask for your drink in a mug. Starbucks Philippines even gives a P5 discount for those who bring their own!
(Anyone who knows me has seen my huge ass water bottle na mukhang pang dispenser. My Japan Starbucks tumbler is from Bun-Chan, from Japan talaga haha!)

12. Need to reload? Go to your nearest e-load or autoload suki! Those prepaid cards are made from and individually wrapped in plastic.
(I realized this when Ma said she doesn't like buying cards.)

13. Learn to love refillables! When buying pens and highlighters, choose those that are refillable, like Stabilo. That way, when the ink runs out, you no longer have to buy new ones. Just walk to your nearest bookstore and ask for a refill.

14. Eliminate phantom drain: Believe your charger when it says BATTERY FULL - it does not lie. Plugged chargers still consume energy.
(This is my pet peeve. I walk around the house unplugging stuff. I've turned into my father :| )

14. Give me the “green” light: Replace those incandescent bulbs into Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs (CFLs). They may cost a bit more, but think long-term: CFLs consume ¼ of the electricity and last several years longer. Plus, they look like vanilla swirl ice cream!

15. Tara na, biyahe tayo! Have you trekked the Banaue Rice Terraces, chased after whale sharks in Donsol, and viewed the Chocolate Hills of Bohol? Explore your country’s natural resources to remind yourself what it is you are saving. After all, you can only protect what you love, and love what you experience.
(This is like, my personal mission. 2010 will be Cam Sur, Cebu, Cagayan de Oro, and Camiguin. PROMISE. I need to step foot on Mindanao soil!)

The late Ninoy Aquino said that the Filipino is worth dying for. Echos. Allow me to rephrase: the Filipino is worth living for and most definitely worth greening for. Now go forth and greenify :)

I got this from Anna Oposa's blog. And I feel like sharing this one because it made me realize some things. I hope it makes an impact on you too.


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To all the guys who have ever made me think that they are the person they can never be.

Thank you very, very much. :)









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